voiceless

I have this feeling, a feeling that most people might or might not experience. I feel lonely despite being with my friends just moments ago. I'm scared to repeat mistakes again. I really want to let everything out, but I can't. I can't stand being alone. I really love to be with someone which I know definitely cares for me. I'm scared, I'm really scared, but what can I ever do about it? I'm getting agitated at even the most simple reasons, even when I don't wish to. I'm breaking, I'm definitely breaking. There's so many things I want to say, yet I can't now, for fear of screaming at friends just because they don't agree with me.

I don't want to care about anything right now. I refuse to care. I don't want to care. Can't you see that I'm having problems of my own right now? I HAVE my own problems. I've bitched and bitched and bitched about them but... In the end I keep it at bay for fear of annoying others. If they could read my mind, probably all they'll hear is screams and cries. I'm dying inside, I'm afraid. My ability to think has been mostly obstructed due to the fact that I often sleep late. That might probably be the source of all my negativity but then again, is it really always my fault? I've been blamed for things I did not do a lot.