Looks like I'm piling everything up against myself again. Why, oh why do I always do this to myself. Why do I keep piling everything up within myself and snap whenever I feel like I can't take it anymore? Why can't I just voice my displeasure on the spot?

Oh wait! It's not that I don't want to. IT'S THAT I FUCKING CAN'T. FUCK YOU, ASSES WHO TELL ME TO SPEAK UP BUT FUCKING YELL AT ME WHEN I DO. FUCK YOU. IF VOICING DISPLEASURE IS EQUIVALENT TO FUCKING TALKING BACK, YOU NEED TO FUCKING LEARN YOUR GOD DAMN TERMS AGAIN. FUCK CARES IF YOU'RE OLDER THAN ME. I DON'T CARE IF I'M USING CAPS LOCK AND USING TOO MANY 'FUCK'S. LIKE I FUCKING CARE ANYMORE.

and, let's not forget! YOU DO NOT FUCKING JUDGE MY OVERALL PERFORMANCE ON ONE FUCKING DAY. Just because I NEVER say or complain about anything for a while does not mean that I can be used as your motherfucking emotional punchbag. You wanna take revenge on me apparently 'snapping' or 'hurting your feelings'? Try again. I think YOU'VE hurt me more than I've ever did to you. Think again, who the fuck was the one who induced all that trauma inside me? Who was the one who made me suppress everything inside? Who was the one who made me scared of almost everything? WHO THE FUCK WAS IT? YEAH BECAUSE IT'S A FUCKING GOOD IDEA TO KEEP REPETITIVELY TELLING ME THAT YOU'RE GONNA DISOWN ME. IT'S ALSO A FUCKING GOOD IDEA TO THREATEN PULLING ME OUT OF SCHOOL OR BANNING ME FROM THE GAMING, PULLING ME AWAY FROM EVERY SINGLE RELATION I WAS CLINGING ON SO BADLY TO. Just so you know, it's YOUR fucking fault that I've grown to be such a fucking social recluse. I repeat this again, YOU were the one who made me feel inferior to EVERYONE else. YOU AND YOUR FUCKING SONS.

no matter what you do, you can never reverse the damage done. none of you can ever do that. what does it matter anyway? you're all forever, ETERNALLY in the right and I AM the fucking laughing stock of everyone. I can NEVER compare to your freaking intelligent son. I will never stand against your SUPER hardworking son. Because I am a damn failure. Yeah, you eventually learned to stop comparing. But you know what? you were too late. as always. the idea that i could always rely on you? that was also a lie you just fed me to give me 'security'. 'fair'? that's just a word to you. you very obviously favour others more than you ever did me. i was always just something for you to vent your frustrations at. always. because no one else cared. and i just happened to be there by obligation. i don't need anymore of your false concern. a fucking nuisance of an eyesore doesn't need it. go give it to your favourites. you can stop telling me that i can make it too. everyone knows the truth. you said it yourself too, though you'll just deny it when i remind you of the incident which you did say it. you'll deny it and throw a hissy fit of me not letting go. i now ask then, who exactly is the one who isn't letting go? maybe its me. but im not going to lie to myself and feed myself happy memories which are most likely fake anyway.