breathe

Honestly, I am disappointed at myself for being so stupid.
I'm frustrated at myself for being too nice.
I'm extremely annoyed by the fact that I'm very incompetent.
I'm absurdly angered by the fact that I'm actually being stepped on.
You realized I'm annoyed? Oh, good! Magnificent! Here's a fucking cookie for your fucking efforts!

Stupid bitch, do you know how CLOSE I was to actually throwing a chair at your face? Or perhaps I should've just slammed it down without hesitation. Or maybe I shouldn't allow you to celebrate Father's Day ever. Take your pick, bitch. Yes, you're a bitch now despite having a twig dangling between your legs. Oh I'm sorry I insulted your masculinity. I didn't mean for it! Here, take your custom made XS-sized condom with you before you leave, you freeloading bitch!

As much as I'd like to use violence, I actually can't thanks to the conformity society has set. Well, I now see it as a double edged butter knife. That protects me from seriously fucked up people and at the same time, restrains me from being someone screwed in the head. Thank you society, for both giving me protection and unnecessary stress at the same time. Fabulous! Rainbow fabulous!

Now, on another matter, it really, really, really seems like you don't respect me. I tell you to NOT do some things NICELY. You? Oh, fuck you, I'm not going to even bother starting on what you did, insensitive fuck. Really, all the asses and pricks I meet in campus life is equivalent to an entire lifetime's worth of jackasses. They are, with no doubt, going to increase by probably tenfold and that's horrible. Do not give me a stupid excuse of "I don't really mix with girls much so I don't know :(". Fuck you. Joking about something that I BELIEVED to have made ENOUGH fucking emphasis on how fucking HEAVY the fucking topic is, and how much it means to me, is just downright insensitive. It's like me telling you that you'll never, ever get the girl you seem to love so much because you're one hell of a fucking creepy stalker! I have said, time and time again, STOP being fucking shy but noooooo, you NEVER listen. What's the next thing you do? Whine about it every single fucking night. SUCK IT UP IF YOU DON'T FUCKING HAVE THE GUTS. Calling me loose? Hah! At very least I braved myself through the experience, and lived to talk about it when required. You? Oh I AM amused by your humor, you fucking sexist.

I seriously, seriously, really wanted to think you're a nice guy. I really wanted to. I wanted to believe that you're the nice senior I knew but nope. You had to ruin every single one of my perceptions. I tried to be open, I tried to listen to whatever the fuck you wanted to say, thinking "Oh okay, maybe this is how life on this campus is o,o~ " but fuck you. Who the fuck is THIS sexist and claims to not realize it? No wonder you don't have thaat many female friends. I'm amazed at my own stupidity which told me to forgive you for the sake of friendship.

Friendship. Nice word. Really. The source of most of my god damn stress! If I have to put up with people like YOU, I'd rather wander around alone. I've had enough of your sexism, your "seemingly harmless jokes". I didn't mind listening to your rants about how distant she is from you but for you to insult me at that same moment? Fuck off. Aww, you still want to be friends despite all the "hardship" our relation experienced? How nice! See that fence over there? Yes. That's call the boundary. Take a nice walk to the fence and fucking REMAIN there. There's NO WAY in hell I'm about to ever think that I can trust you again. I've had enough. I really have had enough.

Oooh, and don't forget my deeeeeeeeeeep and vast amount of anger and hatred! "So much anger..." isn't the best thing to say to me, you dumb fuck! Also, I'm not a retarded bitch with deluded fantasies to have sex or even make out with someone who almost became a rapist! Whoops, I forgot to tell you to STOP including ME in YOUR "imagination". I never liked the idea of making out. So. stop. pitting. me. in. them. you. dumb. fuck.