Of doormats and such

Apparently, I don't seem to be anything but an ego-booster just because I'm a fucking doormat. I'm happy to listen to your problems, or hear you rant, but I'm not a masochist. I don't subject myself to shit like that just because I'm too afraid of losing a friend. I was afraid but if you're about to push me down to the depths of shitland just to boost YOUR own ego, I'm sorry. Count me out. I'm not going to allow history to repeat for the second time in 6 years. No. It won't happen. It won't. I'm passive in general, and that is taken advantage of. I'm used and abused like an emotional punch bag. If that doesn't lead me to have supremely low self-confidence, I don't know what else will. Funny thing, my confidence issue has always been talked about but the very same people are those who push me down to oblivion. It's a strange irony. Perhaps I was only brought up to high spirits only to be broken down as entertainment? Funny. How funny.